I can’t stand it anymore! I came home from the store the other day and found my husband standing at the back door talking to a young lady. In the driveway, blocking my way into the garage is a minivan being driven by a young man dressed in a suit. Great, I thought, another one. My husband and I have lived in our new home for less than a month and this is the third time we have had a Witness on our door step. The first thing that I wanted to do was whip the door open and apologize to the girl, maybe tell her that he was visiting for Easter from his group home or something…anything to save her from all of his questions. The poor girl had no idea what she had gotten herself into when she knocked on our door. None of them ever do. She finally left after stuttering a little about Easter and her beliefs. I don’t know if she cried. Maybe she got into the van and they all prayed for our family. Maybe (please please PLEASE) they crossed us off the list of places to stop. Either way, we got noticed, for you see, I am married to a special man. My husband is TJM admin, and the Witnesses will never leave me alone. First I was invited to the memorial service for Jesus, and then they had a meeting of some sort to talk about who was qualified to rule the world. I would have LOVED to go to that one. I can’t remember why this poor girl was here this time. She told him that she had talked to me before, so I guess I am in her precinct. I should go back and read the “Porch Monkeys” article again. When we were first married we lived literally right next to a meeting hall. We would watch those little 6 year olds run into the building carrying their little brief cases. We were there for 4 years and were only visited once. I miss those days. My hubby told me that those “No soliciting” signs don’t work either. Did you know that? They aren’t solicitors. I guess I will just have to let TJM admin keep answering the door! Poor little Witnesses…
I want the Witnesses to leave me alone!
Recovering Catholic
Mar 24
|21:29
Funny, they've stopped visiting me.
And I might not invite them in, but I used to be happy to chat with them.
Funny, they’ve stopped visiting me.
And I might not invite them in, but I used to be happy to chat with them.
I usually handle these people thusly:
When they ask me if I believe in God, I usually say "Oh, no. I'm actually probably one of the very few people on Earth who knows, for an absolute fact, that God does not exist."
"Huh? How do you know that?"
"He told me. And then I asked him if I should believe in him anyway, and he said 'No.' So … that's that."
I usually handle these people thusly:
When they ask me if I believe in God, I usually say “Oh, no. I’m actually probably one of the very few people on Earth who knows, for an absolute fact, that God does not exist.”
“Huh? How do you know that?”
“He told me. And then I asked him if I should believe in him anyway, and he said ‘No.’ So … that’s that.”
I told the first ones I was an atheist.
The ones after that I told I was already saved.
The ones after that I just told to go away and leave me alone.
The ones after that I threw off my property.
They gave up coming.
Twice someone rang up wanting to save me. I asked for her number so I could report her for cold-calling (this is illegal where I live). She never bothered me again either.
Sometimes people ring up and ask personal questions about consumer habits, income and so on. Since I find this impudent, and anyway they might be burglars, I always invent things – 5 children, bankruptcy, or huge wealth, or however I fell. They seem to have given up too…
I told the first ones I was an atheist.
The ones after that I told I was already saved.
The ones after that I just told to go away and leave me alone.
The ones after that I threw off my property.
They gave up coming.
Twice someone rang up wanting to save me. I asked for her number so I could report her for cold-calling (this is illegal where I live). She never bothered me again either.
Sometimes people ring up and ask personal questions about consumer habits, income and so on. Since I find this impudent, and anyway they might be burglars, I always invent things – 5 children, bankruptcy, or huge wealth, or however I fell. They seem to have given up too…
I've found that walking outside with a nice size inverted cross or pentagram on, nothing but your boxers on (or boxers and a t-shirt for the girls), and asking them if they'd like to come inside and join your fertility ritual will immediately get you put on the "DO NOT VISIT" list. I've never had it go further than asking them to join, they pretty much bolt as fast as possible at that point… if they ask what you mean tell them its an orgy to worship the goddess and you'll be having one every night until the next full moon.
I've found telling them I'm agnostic/atheist generally just makes them want to come back and save me… as does telling them I'm saved or to go away because I'm not interested.
Half dressed people telling them they're in the middle of a ritual they're welcome to join tends to get rid of them first attempt.
Another way I've heard that gets 100% results first try is to say, "Great, I used to be a JW, I have important information to tell you, let me tell you why I left the cult." Apparently they're not allowed to talk to people who are former witnesses (apostates).
Peace and good luck getting rid of your witnesses.
I’ve found that walking outside with a nice size inverted cross or pentagram on, nothing but your boxers on (or boxers and a t-shirt for the girls), and asking them if they’d like to come inside and join your fertility ritual will immediately get you put on the “DO NOT VISIT” list. I’ve never had it go further than asking them to join, they pretty much bolt as fast as possible at that point… if they ask what you mean tell them its an orgy to worship the goddess and you’ll be having one every night until the next full moon.
I’ve found telling them I’m agnostic/atheist generally just makes them want to come back and save me… as does telling them I’m saved or to go away because I’m not interested.
Half dressed people telling them they’re in the middle of a ritual they’re welcome to join tends to get rid of them first attempt.
Another way I’ve heard that gets 100% results first try is to say, “Great, I used to be a JW, I have important information to tell you, let me tell you why I left the cult.” Apparently they’re not allowed to talk to people who are former witnesses (apostates).
Peace and good luck getting rid of your witnesses.
Having been a Witness for many years, please take my advice. It is the ONLY way to stop them from coming, as anything else (from Satanist symbols to Atheism) only seems like a great challenge to zealots. Perhaps some of the more timid or less experienced Witnesses would be frightened away by goat heads, but many of them would just grow more enthusiastic.
Instead:
Simply ask politely (remember that they sincerely believe they are trying to save your life) that they place you on their “Do Not Call” list. This list is included in every territory map which is checked out by Witnesses engaging in the ministry work. Tell them you’ve considered it at great length and you do not wish to be called on again under any circumstances.
They are bound by their own rules not to knock on your door. Occasionally (maybe once per year, but likely less often), an elder from the church will call on you to see if you have moved, or changed your mind. Simply inform them that you have not and would ask to remain on the list.
Trust me….I know this stuff…..sadly.
The only ONLY way to answer them and hear “Oh, thank you- have a good day!” and watch them retreat without pause is to tell them that you are Jewish.
Works every time!
Good one. I’m bookmarking this for later for sure!