JESUS CHRIST THE BUSINESS. - WHERE BELIEVERS MAKE THE BEST CUSTOMERS

DISCLAIMER: The Christianity that exists in the marketplace today has taken 2,000 years to perfect since Jesus’ death. And although Jesus Christ “The Business” (JC Inc). was founded quickly after the death of Jesus, the church is no longer affiliated in any way with Judaism or the Messiah, nor does Jesus Christ endorse the JC Inc business model. Neither God nor Jesus holds any equity in JC Inc. Jesus was not consulted regarding the formation of this business. Further, the martyr deaths of the founders of JC Inc do not constitute an endorsement of the decisions or direction of subsequent executives within the ongoing business of the firm. Past performance of this business is not a guarantee of future performance, and therefore it is possible that JC Inc may not continue to outperform other busineses in the future.

The Jesus message was a simple one with intensely liberating implications. The few thousand people who followed Jesus were not capable of leveraging the Jesus message into a first class business. JESUS CHRIST “The Business” (JC Inc) created a message more suitable for building profits, including an improved product that enables the business to operate a sustainable revenue model. The business was partly developed by individuals who knew people who knew Jesus. The JC Inc franchise has continuosly improved its products and services, intellectual property, professional management, partnerships, revenue and physical property for almost 2000 years. It is one of the most exciting businesses operating in the world today and is one of the longest running businesses in the history of civilization. Members like to call the business “Their Church”. We like that.

Approximately 15 to 35 years after Jesus death, the Jesus message had inspired many people to participate in a message of love as well as a personal liberation from guilt and the spiritual politics of the day. The vast majority of followers were people who had never met Jesus (for example: Saint Paul), but understood his message of love and wanted to share it with others. Quickly it became apparent that this simple good will of believers in Jesus could be organized into small franchises with locations and enough financial strength to continue operations for the foreseeable future. At that time, most believers did not expect a lengthy wait for the return of Jesus. But entraprenuers understood that JC Inc should be established to ensure the quality of the message and organize the growing number of followers into a single political force that could withstand persecution, no matter how long the wait for Jesus to return.

As soon as JC Inc was established; it was considered a new religion by politicians and other religious leaders alike. The executive management of JC Inc. began to modify its product to ensure continued rapid growth and to ensure that its customers did not stray to other religions once they joined JC Inc. The firm rapidly grew, and it survived take over attempts by hostile managers and executives who held opposing visions of what JC Inc. could become. Saint Paul was among the most creative of the executives in developing specific product functionality seekers of truth desired most. Saint Peter was a pioneer in creating rigid business processes that ensured JC Inc would have a long legacy of growth and market dominance. Together the leaders of this amazing business concern developed a system of instructions on how a person should live their life and gain access to heaven.

Jesus himself did not leave behind any detailed documents for his followers. Instead, he had provided his followers simple guidelines that are now a very small part of the intellectual property of JC Inc. After the invention of the printing press, some of the firm’s intellectual property was reprinted by the firm’s customers and since that time a large number of break away organizations have formed to offer specialized products that sell better in local markets. This has caused a global shift in customer preferences toward memorizing the firm’s intellectual property with the goal of improving obedience to the rules of the organization. This shift has been helpful to the firm’s management which in almost every case can mold the interpretation of the free intellectual property to favor the firm’s objectives.

BUILDING A CHURCH BUSINESS ON THE HISTORICAL JESUS

Like current customers of JC Inc, Jesus also began his spiritual work by learning the religious documents of his time so well that it is said that he quoted them regularly in his day-to-day affairs. Many of the people Jesus interacted with were Jews and there is no record of any Jew at the time criticizing Jesus’ ability to accurately quote scripture. According to some Jews at the time, he was a blasphemer, but those sources never accused him of being unlearned regarding Jewish scripture.

Civilization was pretty well established by the time of Jesus. Socrates for example would have been 500 years old at the time of Jesus death. The Roman Empire, the Jewish Nation, and dozens of other societies were already mature with traditions and rules for living. Jesus was born a Jew but he is reported to have been critical of more than a few Jewish traditions and some Jewish regulations as well.

Today, many customers of JC Inc don’t realize that Jesus did not write or even dictate any of the chapters in the Bible. He did not even ask any of his followers to write a single chapter. In fact while Jesus walked the earth, none of his followers were known to have been documenting Jesus life. Most of his followers at the time fully believed that Jesus’ message did not need documentation. Since Jesus never urged his followers to write down his words for future generations of believers, there was never any discussion about who should write about Jesus. Even after Jesus returned a few days after his death to spend time with his inner circle of followers, there is no record of him asking anyone to write down his words.

According to historians and executives of JC Inc, it was 15 to 35 years after Jesus death when his disciples began creating documents about Jesus. The bylaws of JC Inc were being created as a part of this document set, and executives at the firm began developing partnerships with wealthy customers, politicians and other influential individuals. The original liberating message of Jesus continued to be included in the product offering, but the firm’s management team was writing additional and equally important instructions. Fortunately there were many visionary customers who contributed impressive documents that improved the compliance by customers to the rules and regulations of JC Inc.

Today Jesus rarely contacts the firm’s customers. And despite reports that he is disappointed with Jesus Christ Inc, the firm believes that Jesus will not act to disrupt the firm’s operations. JC Inc’s leadership continuously cautions customers to not believe otherwise and the firm reminds its customers that Jesus knows everything each of them is thinking and is particularly interested in whether or not they obey the firm.

God himself has not endorsed the firm or commented since the time of his extensive appearances thousands of years prior to Jesus birth. It appears that the liberating message of Jesus Christ would not have stood on its own merit without assistance from the firm, and the Jesus message required an extensive inventory of more specific instructions developed by various professionals over the past 2,000 years.

Since Jesus did not leave behind any documented instructions, or ask his associates to create documents to guide followers, The firm believes the good people at JC Inc. have a duty to create more complete religious instructions for its customers. This belief is supported by the incredible size and need in the marketplace for religious instruction.

It is often said by the current managers of JC Inc, that the founders of the firm were inspired by God to create a definitive guideline to the life of Jesus and his expectations from each customer, as well as an organized set of rules and regulations that God himself requires each of us to obey. Becoming a customer of Jesus Christ Inc is now mandatory for every human being, according to many customers and executives in the firm. Failure to become a customer prior to one’s death will result in eternal punishment in a place no human would want to live. On the other hand, the firm promises each customer in good standing with JC Inc, an eternity of worshiping God in an unimaginably wonderful location.