Son of God Jesus Christ has lashed out at his followers for constantly “treating [Him] like a baby” and demands that all references to “the Little Lord Jesus” by Christians stop immediately.
“What’s wrong with you people,” He asked in a press statement released this week. “I’m, like, over 2000 years old already. I’m all grown up here, and you still treat me like a kid. Well, I’m NOT a kid, so you can stop it, right now.”
Jesus was especially critical of Christians who use the “little baby Jesus” motif for emotional effect.
“I’m the all-powerful Son of God who sits at the right hand of the Father – do I look like some softy sentimental baby in a manger to you?
“You people better start showing me some respect. Remember, I’m the guy who drove the thieves from the temple with a great and powerful wrath. Remember that story? That was Me. I did it before and I can do it again. So you people better stop belittling me, or there is going to be a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth, I can promise you that.”
God the Father refused to comment directly on whether Christians should stop referring to His Son as a soft little helpless baby with curly golden hair.
“Jesus is going through a bit of a stage right now,” says the Almighty Lord. “He needs His space, and we need to show Him we understand where He’s coming from.
“Don’t take what He says too seriously,” advised the Lord. “I’m sure He’ll calm down after His nap.
The Holy Spirit did not materialise for comment.
LOL!!! Excellant!
================================================
Later, after the news conference was over, this reporter informed the Little Lord Jesus of what The Old Man said, to which he replied:
“You gonna listen to me who can turn that bottle of AquaFina you’re holding into a nice, mellow Chardonnay? Or to an old fart that didn’t even realize that when he made Adam that the guy needed a babe?
HE HAD THE MAN SCREWING ANIMALS FOR MONTHS , FOR CHRIST…… I MEAN FOR MY SAKE!!!!……..”