There’s a part of me that wants to start a religion

There’s a part of me that wants to start a religion. I’m serious. I want to create a memeplex of ideas to rival Scientology, Raelianism, and a host of others. I want people to worship me. I want women to adore and wash my feet with their hair (as long as they use a lot of conditioner that is). I want money and power.

I’ve thought quite a bit about this. It wouldn’t be too hard. In fact, when I had decided on a possible action plan, I found that others had already done the same thing. Check out “self-help cults”. When I was in Vegas, I found one was already operating there. Incredible. They even subcontracted their motivational speakers from another self-help cult.

Now, how would I do it?

I think that people are so lonely in our culture, that they will be willing to worship ANYONE who sits down with them and just LISTENS to what they are saying. Try this out: For the next few days, when you see strangers… like a cashier at a supermarket, make purposeful, direct eye contact with them and give them a friendly smile.

No one makes eye contact anymore. We are trapped in our own solitude. Meeting someone’s eyes acknowledges to them that we recognize their existence. It’s a powerful thing.

Combine that with some good listening skills and therapeutic communication and you’ll have them eating out of your hand.

Why haven’t I done this yet?

Because as cynical and bitter as I can be at times, I’m not evil. I’ve seen what damage religions can do. If I actually did manage to create a religion that existed after I died, what kind of monster would I be leaving? I think it would be far better to live a simple life, trying to do good than create something which could harm countless people.

Still, when I see people arguing that the earth is only 6,000 years old, or paying money to a televangelist… the cynical/selfish part of me starts to prod me again.

So who would want to join me?